Saturday, 1 February 2014

The prompt - week 3

mumturnedmom
I am joining in with the prompt over at mumturnedmom and this weeks prompt was the following quote. 






Sweater, n. Garment worn by child when its mother is feeling chilly. Ambrose Bierce.





This one really threw me at first as I read the quote and thought to myself 'what on earth am I suppose to write about that?!'



After spending some hours mulling over the quote while getting on with other things it suddenly struck me what that quote meant. I think that the quote is referring to us as parents thinking we know best about our children without actually talking to them. In the case of the quote the mother feels cold, so she makes her child wear a jumper without actually asking if the child also feels cold.



This has made me think about the relationship that I have with my oldest daughter Lauren who is now 16. She has had a lot of problems over the last two years which I can't really go into too much details about due to her privacy but I really believe that a lot of those problems are due to the fact that she never speaks to me. When she was younger as with all of my children we really communicated very well on a daily basis. I have always made time to talk to the children both in terms of every day chit chat to more serious issues that may be bothering them so I would never of have guessed that I would now be in such a position. Despite me telling her on numerous occasions to come and talk to me when ever she needs to and despite numerous professionals like doctors and teachers telling her to speak to me, as it is nice for them to be dealing with a mother that cares and is there waiting to help, it is as if she has built up a wall around herself and she will not let anyone in no matter how hard we try.

Because of this lack of communication on Lauren's part I am always left second guessing what is going on and I can only use my own experiences as a teen to do this so I often seem to be getting it wrong and she gets really angry at me for thinking things that are not so but as she does not talk to me I do not know what else I| am suppose to do?

I have read so many books over the years and watched so many TV shows about how to get your children to communicate with you and I have tried so many different things but I really am running out of ideas and as she is nearing adulthood I feel as if I am running out of time.

I am by no means a perfect parent, I have made mistakes, I have cried, screamed, shouted and even sworn, but I hope that the fact that I am still trying to make things better and the fact that I still care so much will one day prove to Lauren how much she is loved by me. If anyone that has been through similar experiences of a teen that will not talk and you have any advice on what I should do then please do let me know by commenting or sending me an e-mail if you would prefer. Any advice really would be greatly received!









8 comments:

  1. I love that interpretation of the quote, that we make decisions for our kids without asking them - I know that I am certainly guilty of that, but perhaps we don't always know best, and we need to communicate. I'm sorry your daughter is having a tough time, if I remember being 16 at all - communicating with my mum wasn't a priority for me, which I feel sad about looking back on - but I now have a wonderful relationship with her. She will know that you are just trying to do the best for her and in the long run, this is what she'll remember. I wish I had more useful advice for you xx Thanks for linking up to #ThePrompt xx

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    1. Thanks Sara. I hope that things will start to improve for her and that we will get back to being close like we use to.

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  2. Teenage girls are quite a funny breed hey?! Unfortunately I don't have any specific advice for you except to say My sister was very much like your daughter and had a few rocky years with our parents but once the teenage years were over things returned to normal, hang in there honey, all you can do is to keep reminding her you are there when she needs you.

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    1. Thanks hun, fingers crossed things will improve in time.

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  3. I have no advice other than make sure that she knows that you are always there to talk to & to listen to her if that's all she wants, its very true in my opinion that a problem shared is a problem halved. #ThePrompt

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  4. I'm a secondary school teacher so deal with teenage girls quite a lot. I know it must be really hard feeling like you can't really help if she won't talk to you but it sounds like she is talking to other professionals which is great. I can only suggest that you try and encourage her to keep talking to someone about her problems, even if, for now, that someone isn't you. Sounds like she knows you'll be there to listen when she's ready to talk and that's all you can do really. I hope things get better for you and your daughter x

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